Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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