Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
