Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize