so that wasnt chicken after all
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
