when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
