That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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