Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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