There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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