she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
