"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Your cock deserves a montage
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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