this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
