well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I forgot how hot balto sounded
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
