Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Alive.
So much puke
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
