i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
