sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
