Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Randomize
