3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Randomize
