im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
