'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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