I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
