That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
