Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
