ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
