Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Are my feet made of real feet?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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