if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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