I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
