Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
