roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
