Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
