someone threw a dead crab at me
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
