Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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