i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
