Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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