Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
