i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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