Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Let's get the cat blown out
You should frame my arrest warrant.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
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