I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
