she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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