I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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