You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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