my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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