The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
