Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Randomize
