The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
My first STD was from a foam party
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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