Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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