I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
