Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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