I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Liz is crying about burritos again.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
