margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
