Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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