You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Still dying that you shit outside
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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