Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
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