You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Can I color on your dick again?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
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We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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