I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
