U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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