Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Help. Why am I so naked?
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