We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
