and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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