her vagine was all disorganized.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
