I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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