It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
