she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
