I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
