We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
