Dual....:-)
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
