lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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