who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
