so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
