you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
