Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
