Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
