He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
You may now shotgun with the bride
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
